My mother has always been the curious sort – the type of person who wants to really understand what’s going on around her. She’s especially interested in people’s motivations.

If you’ve spent any time around my Mom you’ve likely been asked, “Why?” “Why did that happen?” “Why did they say that?” “Why did you do that?” Of the 5 W’s “Why?” is her absolute favorite. Now as her daughter I get asked “Why?” a lot. My “why’s” typically have to do with the past preferably something that happened 25-30 years ago – back when I relied more heavily on my primitive brain functions. You know, back when your synapses were barely making links and they were lucky to send messages like breathe, sleep, eat, throw something at that Richard kid next door – c’mon, you know you like him, nothing says love like a rock, and don’t drag your knuckles, try to walk upright, stop drooling – simple commands.

To be quite honest, I’ve run out of answers as to “why” I might have done something and here’s where I really need your help. I need you to channel your inner 5-10 year old Beth and write an excuse. Why did you do whatever it is you (posing as me) did. Not only will I post my favorites, but I’ll honor you by using your excuse the next time I’m questioned.

Aim for humor and keep it clean. (That means you, Lynn.) If you don’t have a real address for me, you can send your answers to june at bigbluemess dot com.

I look forward to reading them – don’t ask me why (insert obligatory rimshot).