Monday I was in a snit, which really isn’t all that remarkable. I live in a snit. While you were voted “Most Likely to Succeed” “Most Likely to be a Politician” (bless your heart), I was voted “Most Likely to be Offended”. In fact, I can work my face into a small little knot in record time (and why this isn’t recognized by Guiness is completely beyond me – I should be on the talk show circuit).

The problem is that when I’m in a full blown snit, I’m really not fit to be around other people and somedays that’s not always an option. So, I had to haul myself outside and give myself a lecture, which went a lot like this:

YOU! Outside.
Why?
Because I said so.
You aren’t the boss of me?
Actually, I am.
Fine.
Fine. Now what’s wrong?
What’s wrong?! I’m angry.
No, really?
If you’re not going to take me seriously, I’ll just go back in now.
No, no… go on.
I’m underappreciated.
Is that really true.
No.
What would make things better?
(long pause while my brain sat absolutely silent) a sign.
A sign?
Yes. A big sandwich board outside of my office that read “Beth is Great!” or “Awesome” – some really amazing adjectives – maybe multiple signs that could be switched out daily. What do you think?
You’re kidding.
No. And I want a tiara.
A tiara???
Yes.
Now you’re just being silly.
And?
Well, that’s silly.
I’m ok with that. GET ME MY TIARA!

And this went back and forth until I composed myself and became more fit to be around the general public.

Yes, I’m proposing the best way to handle Mondays is to unleash your other personalities and let them have some play time.