When it comes to topics for posts, I tend to steer away from certain subjects. Posting about work, while arguably cathartic, can also be a career-limiting opportunity. Calling people out and using their full names while on a rant can result in your Jr. High bully contacting you and asking you to stop being mean. (True story). And posting about politics can be a bit divisive. As for that last one, I’d honestly rather post about my salary or sex life, which, Dad, if you’re reading – it’s non-existent. Boys, am I right???

But today I’m breaking that rule (again) thanks to a recent conversation where I ended up growling a good deal, and because I’m excellent at dwelling on things, that growl has grown louder – loud enough that it’s beginning to drown out my ability to watch Daisy Jones and the Six, which I really want to get back to.

When it comes to political parties, I have good friends, many quite passionate, on both sides (or if you’re of a mindset that supports that goes beyond the idea of a two-party system, then I have friends on all sides). Personally, I try to look past party lines and measure people based on how they walk through this world. Are they kind? Are they compassionate? Are they good to animals? Will they help someone in need? Are they open to ideas – to learning, to growing?

To be even more clear, I am friends with people, not parties.

I like to think that they, for the most part, support their political parties based on a genuine belief that their candidate’s platform, if actually enacted, will be the best for their community. I also like to think that they don’t buy into everything their party says/does/supports and that they don’t like and support every candidate that runs under that banner. Kind of like me!

As for me, if you were to graph out my political beliefs on an X, Y axis (I’m a nerd like that), then I’m almost a centrist. However, I lean a particular way due to certain issues I find quite important that will always keep me voting firmly on one side. That said, I don’t enthusiastically support every candidate or every item on my party’s platform.

So, I be-bop through this world with my arguably rose colored “live and let live” ideas.  Lowering them occasionally for major destabilizing events and laws that negatively impact how people are treated or based on the care people are able to receive. That’s about as close as I’m going to get to making a political statement here. (In private we can talk all day.) 

Another good way to think of me, if you’d prefer a different image that doesn’t involve me skipping through a meadow, my head adorned with a wreath of daisies chained together while singing Joy to the World, is a hibernating bear who is super low on sleep. If you leave me alone, we’re probably going to be good.

Unfortunately, yesterday someone decided to poke me with a very sharp political stick.

The gist of it was:

Person: The [insert political party] hates all Asians.

Me:  What?!?!  Do you think I hate all Asians?

Person: Not you. I don’t consider you a [insert political party]

Now, I’m going to pause a sec. This is something my friends on the other side try to flatter me with. I imagine the thought process is, “Beth is politically on the other side from me. However, I like her AND she doesn’t seem to eat most chubby babies like those other [insert political party]. She must be lying to herself and secretly one of us. I’ll *wink* *wink* to signal I know she’s one of us”.

Pro tip: Don’t wink at freshly awakened bears.

Me: Make no mistake that I am a …, but please enlighten me on what I believe.

Now I’m not going to continue with the full blow-by-blow of the conversation, but as part of the highlight reel, it included a statement that everyone who voted like me also has no understanding of history – that they don’t know why people fled from China, Cambodia, and Vietnam. I mean, forget the fact that a couple of the girls with whom I was friends in school had fled those areas and sought asylum with their families. My politics prevent me from understanding. I couldn’t possibly have a CLUE as to why they’re in the US. I guess I think they just derped across the ocean for funsies and for McDonalds. (Aside: I know it’s challenging to convey sarcasm, so let me state for the record that I am familiar with the history. School boards hadn’t voted to erase it, yet.)

I got a little colorful with my response. “Y’know, you’re absolutely right. Now that you mention it because I’m X, I do hate every [painfully overly long, sounds like an air raid, blooooop sound].”

I said it for shock value.

If you’re going to claim I believe something, based on how I vote versus what you know about me personally, then enjoy hearing from my mouth the thoughts you’re accusing me of having in the most expressive way I can muster.  (I can muster a lot – blame the junior high bullies – that’s when I learned I could get them to leave the quiet girl alone if I used my words – a delightful combination of “oh no, we need to grab a dictionary for this abuse” and “welcome aboard, sailor!” I like to punctuate it all by blinking innocently in an, “Oh dear, who said those awful things?” kind of way.)

There was a pause and an uncomfortable laugh. Hey, you said this is what I believe so let’s just hear what that sounds like.

It sounded awful.

And I truly can’t think of a single person who votes the way I do who would ever say anything that ugly or hateful about any group, much less the group in question. AND I can’t name a single person, on either side, who believes what we’re being accused of or who isn’t aware of the history behind these asylum seekers.

They continued to educate me. Apparently, my party also isn’t aware that people from the seven countries in Central America and 12 in South America don’t share a single hive mind and don’t have the same thoughts/beliefs. Weird. News to me. I always thought there was just some south of the equator Stepford thing going on and assumed the indigenous tribes were all in lockstep – same mind, same goals. You’re saying some are different? Let me just sound that word “different” out – let it roll around in my mouth. How novel. My mind is expanding into the infinite. Thank you, kind sage. Go on. Teach me more about what I think. (Also, generous heaping of sarcasm.)

The exchange was just exhausting and frankly quite insulting as they usually are when you start throwing around generalities. All people who are like X believe Y.

My growling isn’t going to fix that, but I will leave you with one last thought.

Recently, I listened to an interview with a noted economist who was asked who he saw as being among the major international superpowers 25 years from now. Unsurprisingly, he said, “the USA and China” But he also ended that thought by stating, “However, currently the biggest threat to that is the continued political polarization that’s occurring within the US.” It’s something to think about.

We need to identify those things that unify us, not those that further divide us. Us vs. them is fine when it’s the Chiefs vs. the Eagles and we leave it on the field, but it’s not so great when we become so tribalistic we stop seeing the other side’s humanity.

I’m not my party. I’m a person.

I’m not a generalization. I’m an individual.