Write. Right. Right. A few weeks ago (or really about five months ago), I read this great piece from a blog/blogger I enjoy where the gist of it was encouraging people to write more. I took it to heart, gave it some thought, imagined myself doing it, and then… well… there were a ton of naps, some doom scrolling, and all manner of other things to distract me. Mind you, the whole time I was thinking, “Yes, you should get on that writing thing, huh?!” quickly followed by, “Or, hear me out, what if we just binge-watched one more show?” x10 x20 (Look, this isn’t about judgment or the fact I’m just now discovering The Bear or Always Sunny in Philadelphia).

(Grammatically, the above is probably a huge mess, but can I point you to e.e. cummings? My writing is basically free-style blog poetry. AMIRITE? Huh?)

So, here we are again. Back to the old drawing-press and more than a month has passed.

Let’s start with some pleasantries.

Hello, friend!

You’ll be glad to know that I’ve calmed down from being poked (see previous poking post for reference), and I’m moving onto a new fresh topic. Can I get a little, “whoo hoo, go Beth”? Keep in mind this fresh new topic is likely a bit influenced by the Barbie movie (a movie I didn’t expect to like, but I loved it to the point I damn near stood up and applauded mid-movie) and it was also heavily influenced by a friend of mine.

We’ll start with her, and end with some thoughts and a request for your ideas (and maybe a margarita).

Last week a friend asked me quite sincerely (with also a heavy hint of frustration/disappointment), “Where is my letter of acceptance to Hogwarts? When do I discover I have powers? When am I selected to join that secret society that holds all the truths? When do I become a dragon rider?

Fair.

Her overarching point: there are so many stories out there, but none where a woman over 30 years old becomes a fantastical hero. There are YA stories. There are stories for men. But where is hers?

Where is mine?

Sure, we’ve made some progress. These days, storytellers are now likely to take into consideration things like the Bechdel test. For those unfamiliar, it’s a simple test that helps bring to light issues of gender inequality. But we need to go even further.

In stories, after 30, female characters tend to be defined as mothers, wives, matrons, matriarchs, or even bitter, jealous, vain villainesses. If a magical thing happens in a story and the character is past their 20s prime, then that thing happens around them, in spite of them, but not to them – never to them. Where they were free-spirited, beautiful, enigmatic creatures who, let’s say, wandered a marsh or were discovered in the woods surrounded by plucky, singing rodents, the remainder of their lives is summed up in a simple phrase – “happily ever after”.

I could actually deep dive into this, and would love to do so, but I’d much rather do so over late-night margaritas where we hash this out until we fall asleep. (Hint to friends. Let me also recommend: San Antonio and we stay overnight in a hotel on the River Walk. I’m not even kidding.)

I don’t want to fade out in the “Happily Ever After”.

Here’s where I’m ultimately landing: How do we change that? For me, I know I can’t write the story I imagine; that’s not in my wheelhouse. I write anecdotes. I can’t write the stories my friend needs – one where she can see herself as the hero – as the 30-something dragon rider. I can’t write the one I need – where I’m standing in a swirl of light and power and not cast as a crone or spinster or reclusive, toothless, hut-living, cackling, dirt-floor sweeping, hedge witch (a real story trope that’s filled with dried herbs and bits of newts). We need stories where we can stand on our own and are considered heroic, beautiful, courageous, and powerful. We need stories where we’re driving the action and it’s thrilling. And these stories need to depict the heroines at an older age – 30s, 40s, 50s, etc.

We need that next thing that we get after Barbie.

I wish I could host a short-story competition because that’s what I’d like to see next. I’d like to see writers submit the stories I want to read – that my friend longs to read. (The legal bits surrounding something like this are what genuinely make me pause.)

So, I’m putting that idea out there in the world.

If anyone has ideas, I want to hear them. How do we re-emerge from being written off?

How do we get my friend to see herself riding her dragon?