Your Random Story from the Week

Earlier this week I found myself sitting on a bench during the middle of the day at a natural history museum in Waco, Texas beneath the ever-watchful eye? empty orbs? of Stan, the replica T-Rex. I’d met the woman next to me briefly years before and figured catching up afforded me with two opportunities – 1) a chance to get to know her better, and 2) the gift of escaping the natural history museum.

No offense to natural history museums or Dr. Polly, my favorite paleontologist, but… (incoming something potentially offensive that I completely intended) they don’t hold my interest for long. My brain takes it all in as: yay, rock, rock, fossil, fossil, (aka rock with stuff in it), some sociopath’s collection of moths, butterflies, and beetles, and now we’ve arrived at the super dusty stuffed critter display filled with marbled-eyed predators looking snarly next to equally dusty birds. Fun. Has no one invented a pelt/feather vacuum to make these guys pop against their faded prairie scenes? Fantastic. Oh, and there’s the obligatory T-Rex. Check, check and check. Museum done. How long have we been here? Where are the benches? I don’t have to go to the restroom, but at least it’s something different to do.

You see, I’m more of a history museum kind of gal, but I’ll be honest – even then my mind is prone to wander if I’m left to stroll from case to case looking at weathered coins and cracked pottery alongside 3×5 yellowing index cards pasted to previously colorful construction paper attempting to describe them. Truly, if you want to hold my attention for an extended period, please give me a diorama to explore, a well-produced video discussing the collection I’m about to see (with someone excitedly talking about the coins and pottery), or y’know just throw up the Temple of Dendur to stroll through and I’ll happily spend hours. Also, I’m a sucker for armor and weapons, so throw those in to keep me entertained, and consider leaving out exhibits featuring furniture and textiles through the ages.

Anyway, back to the story.

So, I’m sitting on this bench underneath Stan, taking a moment to chat with someone I’d met a couple of years back and the conversation flowed like conversations do – words dancing across the still surface of deeper waters. She’s fine, work is good, the family is good, she doesn’t have any big vacation plans, but she did lose her husband a few years before.

I nodded sympathetically, expecting the conversation to meander down a predictable path.

It didn’t. We just dove right on into those deeper waters.

Well, she’d started dating six months after losing her husband. Good on her. The guy was someone she had known for years and then they ended up getting married soon after. Booyah! Of course, I admit to being a wee envious. I’m approaching nine years since Jay died, and I can’t think of a single person I’d like to date long term. So, as she’s describing the whole situation, I imagine they’re doubtlessly in some Hallmark movie worthy romance. Fact: I imagine everyone, whose relationships I’m not acutely aware of, is living that Hallmark movie dream despite reality disproving that every time. In the moment, my soul tells me that these people have beaten the odds and are different.

Anyway, I congratulate her while feeling a little bad for me, then she tells me all about new husband guy. He’s short, doesn’t have a hairy chest, younger, has a full head of hair and on and on. Not her type at all, she declares. Her husband had been tall, bald, a walking rug, older… I just blinked, and fell back to pre-programmed trite-ish remarks while my brain was reeling and begging her to stop sharing. “That’s nice.” “I’m so happy for you.” And my favorite go-to’s, “oh” and “ok”.

Suddenly, hunting for a plesiosaur seemed like a super fun quest.

I’m sorry, y’all. I’m just so not your “girl talk” girlfriend. I’m more your “I don’t need details, let’s go burn houses down because someone slighted you” girlfriend. An equally good but completely different type of friend. (Complete Disclosure: I’m also your “I’ll cave in front of authority figures” friend, so maybe we shouldn’t actually burn that house down, but I completely support you! Think of me as your “instigator” friend. I’ll merrily give you the encouragement you need to do the things you probably shouldn’t do.)

I’m so good not knowing your thing, and in return, I won’t tell you my thing.

So, in short – this week I learned yet another way to fast track getting me to priss right on up: share your turn-ons… at a natural history museum. Yet another reason I’ll be avoiding them.