The Vet

Just last week I had the vet drop by to check on my cats. Their vaccinations were long overdue and one of the cats was a bit under the weather. I couldn’t find my old vet so I went with someone new who was listed under “mobile vets”. Anyone who has ever tried to wrestle two cats into a cage or has had the joy of driving them around longer than 5 minutes realizes the great value of a vet that will stop by your place. Now this woman was totally lovely for a vet. She wasn’t my Dr. J, who should be named St. J, but more that reedy Austin hippy-ish type that you typically find at folk festivals listening to Robert Earl Keene or Marcia Ball. She had a sweet little tech running around with her who had those scrubs with all the animals on them – a person you just want to hug. The tech wasn’t introduced to me, but like I said she was certainly sweet and I liked her up to the point where she asked “can I see your litter box?” Errr… ok. Dr. J never wanted to visit the litter box, but maybe our bathroom was just that off-putting. I lead her to the litterbox where she proceeded to whip out a vial and nab one of my cat’s stools. Maybe it’s just me, but people don’t typically come into my home to thieve one of my cat’s special “presents”. Fine, she was going to run some tests – I get that now. Honestly, I’ve never seen anyone so HAPPY about their latest acquisition. Happy in a really creepy and wrong way. HAPPY in an ALL CAPS kind of way. We’re talking nearly singing a song and doing a dance kind of happy. Then she made off with it out of the house and disappeared for awhile leaving me with the vet while she was doing heaven knows what to it. The vet had to step out for a bit then returned later with the bill and results of some tests she ran. The bill read something like “stool float”. Not to be overly crass, but I could have nabbed one of those little treasures myself and floated it for free. Of course, I would have never done it with such enthusiasm. By all means, you should love the job you do but let’s not get weird about it.

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