The Application

On a whim I submitted my résumé to a non-profit organization this past Sunday. I’m not sure why I did it, but it seemed like the thing to do at the moment. There wasn’t anything on TV and I didn’t feel like reading my book so I guess I did it out of boredom. I really didn’t put much into the cover letter because frankly I didn’t care. The past two jobs I applied for I sat down with my little Cover Letters for Dummies guide and produced the “by the book” cover letter. My stellar efforts using the Bible of cover letters ended with me not getting the interviews – not even for the job I had held previously. This time I reasoned “why bother spending time on the cover letter? It’s not like it’s going to get results.” If you read between the lines of the cover letter I submitted, it reads “Hey, I know you don’t care and I personally don’t care but here’s my résumé for giggles. Please feel free to kick me in the teeth. Kisses & Hugs, Beth – PS Have nothing better to do. TV is bad on Sundays”. To tell you the truth, I honestly had no idea what place I was applying to since the listing just read “local theater – non-profit”. I figured it was probably one of the local small neighborhood theaters which further fed my wonderful “I don’t care” attitude. Monday I get out of work after throwing a huge pity party for one. See, one of my co-workers carelessly said “I need to learn to do your job Beth because one day you won’t be with us; you’ll get one of those jobs you apply for.” I went salty and started loudly grumbling (and this is almost verbatim), “I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to be stuck here until you retire and then I’ll be stuck here some more. I’ll never even advance and I betcha’ I never see a merit raise. It’s just me in this job day after day…” My co-worker grew quiet and I’m sure was marking this down as “one of Beth’s moods maybe if I’m quiet she’ll forget I’m here”. Anyway, I get home and see there’s a message on my phone. Caller ID identifies it as “Theater” and my first thought is, “well, good to see that neighborhood theater at least has a phone. They’re probably calling to tell me I got my stuff in late and express how they’re just ever so sad.” To my big suprise it’s one of the bigger non-profit theaters – a theater people actually buy tickets from ticket outlets to see the shows – a theater whose attendees don’t only just consist of the family members of the cast and crew. The woman on the message said they wanted to talk to me and asked me to call her back. I did. Tomorrow is the big interview day. Of course, in honor of the great pity party I was throwing for myself on Monday, I already wore my outfit that is designated as “the interview outfit”. It’s one of those whose label has a designer name that doesn’t read something like “Gap” or “Big Girl Barn” and I have gotten comments like “oh, is that so and so you’re wearing? I like that!” I even have the evil overly pointed shoes that go with it and a matching purse. This would be the outfit I bought because several months ago when I applied for a particular job I just knew in my heart I would land an interview. It never entered my mind once that I wouldn’t be interviewed. I learned from that experience that sometimes you need to have a more open mind. Having already worn the outfit, that left me with only a couple of other outfit choices which are not bad, but one doesn’t fit quite right (the back up outfit) and the other… it’s ok – it better be since it’s what I have left. I did make an effort to try and get a new outfit this evening. That ended with me standing in a dressing room staring at myself while saying “sheesh, you look like a big dork” and declaring after a whole 15 minutes of looking. “I’m done! I’m not spending money for another stupid outfit for another stupid job I won’t get. Let’s go!” Tomorrow I’ll talk about how to blow an interview in record time, how to make people feel uncomfortable and how to pay a lot of money to park in a downtown parking space. Needless to say, I’m entering this with a super positive attitude.

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