Paganism – I guess I just don’t get it. Maybe I never frollicked naked in a forest enough as a child or bathed in virgin moonbeams celebrating some feminest goddess for the concept to really sink in. This utter lack of understanding and resulting irreverance will doubtlessly cause my Affirmation of Womanhood card to be revoked, since a lot of these beliefs seem to be rooted in some sort of female empowerment. I’ll never be allowed to stand in a perfect circle with 12 of my closest female friends while quietly contemplating how versatile the color black is.

At times many of us struggle with our spirituality in our attempt to explain our place within the world. And while I get atheism, agnosticism, Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, etc., I just go glassy-eyed when I’m told people have tushy pinching faeries prancing around their houses. I think I can stomach poltergeist or visitations by long dead relatives sooner than I can take someone telling me a pink rock is going to give me love vibes.

I just can’t accept that magnets in my shoes will realign my life energies or that Saturn has tugged on my destiny to make me the person I am. If you can see my aura, you have an astygmatism and you should see an opthamologist. Without my glasses, I see auras everywhere, but mostly on traffic lights and street lamps. They’re usually golden; I’m sure that means something profound and the Department of Transportation should be made aware of it immediately.

I guess everyone has the right to choose what they want to believe in this, our free society, but no matter where you go there’s one universal truth – crazy is crazy. You’ll have to run with the wolves without me.