Your Car Stories

One of the perks of having a website that your friends are kind enough to visit and actually read is they share a lot of their own personal stories – the fun stuff you haven’t heard before. So, I’m going to pass along some of what I heard to you.

First up, Lynn & Buddy’s story:

What I love about Lynn is her brutal honesty. If “bad” language makes you squeamish, this may not be the site for you. Lynn is not about being PC to make the world a better place for you. If you want a hug, you’ll have to go somewhere else.
(Lynn, you should record Buddy telling the story about the prison guard who lost control of his dog and post that.)

April is going to write-up her story and I’ll post it as soon as I’ve got it in my hands. Of course, today is April’s birthday and she’s about to enjoy a long, well-deserved weekend so who knows when she’s going to get to it. I’m sure she’ll be holding hands the way she likes until she gets time to write again.

Finally, to the other story I received. The person whose story this originates from will remain anonymous and the innocent shall be protected. Unfortunately, the key to this story is knowing the person. This person is the personification of grace, beauty, intelligence and class. Those of us who know her well want to be like her – we want to dress like her, be cool like her, hang out with her, have her decorate our houses – everything you ever wanted to be, this person is. The only thing she isn’t is “self-aware” and I say that because she will argue with me after she reads this that I’m just being kind in my description of her. See, we see her for who she is and sometimes she won’t accept it. And as mad as she might be at me as she reads that sentence it reminds me of another quality about her we all admire; she always sees the best in people and gives everyone a fair chance. (Note to her: See, the punch-line works because of the person you are.)

That brings me to her story and her former boyfriend that she would call “loser Greg”. Greg had many issues. I’m basing that on her many stories and from my own first-hand experience. Well, maybe not first-hand, but I knew his best-friend Marco and since Marco was for the most part a loser in his own special way, I’m sure his life long friend had a similar and complimentary personality.

It seems that one of Loser Greg’s personality quirks was road rage. He’d have magnificent outbursts of car honking, swearing and making lewd gestures. What made it worse is he drove an old car that had no AC so the windows were usually down. Everyone around him would be treated to not only the sound of his horn but the filth rolling out of his mouth. Mind you, the language would be enough to push anyone over the edge, but if you can conjure in your head for a moment the sound of a 20 year old Toyota’s horn… it’s like a kick-me-dog (the little yappy snippy ones) having an uncontrollable spasm.

My friend tries to help him by explaining that this is inappropriate behavior and she doesn’t like being around it one bit. Just picture Henry Higgins and Eliza Doolittle only reverse the genders and you’ve got the right image in your head. Well Greg is a bit obtuse and these admonishments don’t deter him. What’s more important, keeping a great girlfriend or unleashing your hate on the unsuspecting? Yeah, I went with the unleashing thing, too.

The proverbial straw – they’re heading down the road when Loser Greg decides it’s about time to freak out on another driver. Mind you the driver was completely undeserving. He’s laying on his horn for long bouts of time, screaming and having convulsions in the car. My friend calmly gets out of the car turns and faces him, shouts “You are SUCH an asshole, Greg!” and gives him the finger.

Applause broke out from the surrounding cars and people began tooting their horns in support. This is another reason why she’s my personal hero.

She never rode in his car again.

To Anonymous – you told the story beautifully; I hope I did it justice.

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