I love deliveries that show up at the office unannounced. I don’t get them, but I love them for other people. I love seeing the flowers, the balloons, the fruit baskets and what not. Of course, I’m the kind of person that gets excited to see a card in the mail or a letter. It usually makes me want to run up and down the street shouting, “Julie’s! Look what I got!!” I’m a bit of a simpleton, too but that’s another story.

Yesterday I got a call that I had a package and it was waiting for me downstairs. After announcing it to all my office mates with a big “I HAVE A PACKAGE!” I raced downstairs to find nothing. I went from guard station to guard station to the switchboard operator and finally to the mail room to discover that I’d made their “watch her, she might be dangerous list”. No one knew anything about a package. Hmph.

I wandered back upstairs now the embarrassment of the office because I was package-less. Towards the end of the day the person called me again, “you have a package”. “Oh SURE! I’ll just bet I’ve got a “package”. Where are you?” Well, it turns out the package went to another building and they wanted to know what I wanted to do. “Can you put it in an envelope and send it here?” “No, there are balloons attached.” BALLOONS! I have the best package EVER. I got off the phone and re-announced that not only did I have a package, I had BALLOONS! There was a balloon mix-up! YAY! It’s probably the best package ever. Then I played the game of “who sent me balloons” with one of my co-workers while ticking off important dates “not my birthday, not Christmas, not my dating anniversary”. I decided to pick them up after work since I didn’t want to be an incredible show off and parade them around. No need to rub my balloon having in the face of those who were balloon-less.

Off I went to pick up the balloons while smiling as big as I could. BALLOONS! For ME! I parked, raced into the building and I saw them. Two horrible little balloons with the bank’s logo and one mylar balloon that read “We pay your first mortgage.” Ugh. My face fell as I forced marched myself to the desk. I’m sure the look on my face let the staff there know, “yeah, these have to be hers”. I snagged them up and tried to tuck them under my arm, which is quite a feat considering the helium but I managed. I then took them to the car, looking around to make sure no one saw me, and I laid as much as I could on their little strings so no one would even see them peeking out of a window. Patooey. Balloons.

I called up Jay, “your bank sent ME balloons. I don’t know why they couldn’t send YOU balloons. I don’t want their stinky balloons. It comes with a coaster and money clip with their logo on it, too. Yippee”

So, I’m going to revamp something I’d said about balloons being helium filled floaty balls of goodness that make everyone happy. Sometimes balloons, despite being balloons, can fall flat. Only my cat thinks these latest additions are cool. Crummy delivery.