I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I will never be cool. Try as I might, I’ll never be a Kerouac clone and no one will ever read On the Road with Beth unless I threaten my friends, prop their eyelids open with toothpicks and hold their pets hostage. Of course, when they say, “oh yes Beth, that is great – worthy of publishing – can I please have Mittens back?” It will all sound empty and forced and some of them will doubtlessly call law enforcement.

I cope with my un-coolness daily. Every time I start humming the Peter Gunn theme while trying to obtain an objective. Every time I direct my friends with a “stay on target, stay on target” and they refer to me as “red leader”. From my jeans to my t-shirts with things like “w00t!” “Stargate”, “Enterprise” and “Kabuki” emblazoned on them to our sword collection and tribute to action figures at home. Don’t make fun of my Arwen sword!

So what if I know which dice to roll while trying to breach the throne room and avoid the booby traps? So what if I am feared by many a 15 year old boy in on-line FPS’ (first person shooters) despite my Pong background shortcomings? I’m a geek! I figure, why not surrender myself to it since there’s no chance that I’ll be cool in this lifetime. (In the next one, Lori and I have plans on being twin Brazilian super models that also happen to be brilliant, world-renowned physicists. Lori, I’m holding you to this plan.)

With that huge confession, as if a confession needed to be made, let me say I’m super excited about my upcoming trip to Atlanta. Jay and I are going to Dragon Con (www.dragoncon.org – not too late to get tickets) next week. I can’t wait to see the costumes, the speakers, and my favorite room, the autograph room where they corral psuedo-celebrities and force them to sign things and listen to geeks like me drool out our appreciation. Tops on my celebrity list are (and I’m going to go with character name): Firefly’s Wash and Jayne, Star Trek’s Sulu, Battlestar Galactica’s original Apollo/Tom Zarek, Chief Tyrol and Baltar and of course, Hercules’ Hercules because how can you not love the king of cheesy Fantasy/SciFi, Kevin Sorbo? Of course, the people I’m not quite sure how they scored an invitation: Happy Days’ Joanie, Ralph Malph and Pottsy (Pottsie?) and Mickey Rooney. Mind you, I love Mickey and plan to drop by and get an autograph for Mom. I’m just not sure why Mickey is there.

I love that room in particular because it’s surreal to see all of these people you’re used to seeing on TV or in a movie in person that you’re also only used to seeing them as their characters – not these real people who have a penchant for giggling (a lot of the young females stars) and donuts. Some of the people who surprised me were Lou Ferrigno (The Incredible Hulk) he’s a well-built (as you’d expect) LITTLE guy. Trip from Star Trek’s Enterprise (did anyone watch that show?) was very thin and a poster boy for why heroine is bad for you. (Ok, ok, I have no proof but the man looked like living hell – a far cry from the charming, good looking chief engineer from Enterprise. Mind you he was still good looking, but in that “psst, meet me in the alleyway, I hate all Star Trek fans kind of way”). One of the gals from “Too Close for Comfort” was there and I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around that. And then there was the creepy looking guy from “The Hills Have Eyes” that looked exactly the same in person and I couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t being led around on a chain by a big brute handler. In fact, when he was in front of us at the Dairy Queen chatting away with fans, having a grand time, I still had an impulse to bolt out of the building. (I don’t do well with horror movies.)

I love the people watching. It’s amazing how many people come together dressed in elaborate costumes and to top it off, several of them coordinate their looks. You’ll see the entirety of The Lord of the Rings (including the Ents), the cast of Star Wars (honey bun Leias and Jabba Bimbo Leias), and characters from some real obscure Science Fiction shows that had me taking pictures just to take home and say “ok Jay, this character looks familiar, who is it?”

In fact, if you want to see some of the pictures from last year I’ve posted them here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bigbluemess/ (blame Anna that I have an account)
It’s just a few shots that help me realize that my digital camera and I are not friends. Jay suggested I actually read the manual. Hah! The pictures are from the Con and Zoo Atlanta (sorry, but the panda pictures didn’t turn out well).

Needless to say, I’m excited and can’t wait to be there and immerse myself in geekiness surrounded by fellow geeks.

… and one more thing, a bit of geek truthiness – Stephen Colbert is just as hot as Brad Pitt. I stand by that.