There are days that I don’t like what I do. I think everyone goes through it – those days you wake up and wonder, “How did I get here?” A few of you I know are exactly where you expected to be and despite a few bumps, you enjoy what you’re doing. I applaud you. I’m also absolutely jealous of you, too.

Not too long ago I went from a place with too few rules to return to a place with too many rules. I went from a place where you could scream at the top of your lungs, “I’m going to f*ing kill you.” (true story) to a place where you can be written up for gossip after informing your supervisor about an upcoming blow-up in the office. (true story). I went from a place of creativity to a place where creativity/individuality is strongly discouraged and frowned upon (so I had my hair dyed a lovely eggplant and was told that it wasn’t a “natural” color – they’re slow, but they eventually catch on). I’m in a place now where you don’t twitch without getting approval from the lowest bidder to make sure it’s the most inefficient and cheapest way to twitch.

It’s mostly ok and the one saving grace that keeps my mind engaged are the overheard conversations – the break between my NPR in the morning and NPR on the way home. Take yesterday, I learned something new from Red Neck Mandy and Michael who were tackling the lofty debate of evolution versus creation. Mandy took up evolution while Michael, a minister, of course went for creation. The upshot of it was that your appendix, despite some people claiming it served no function, does have a purpose. The argument for a useful appendix went, if it can kill you after rupturing then it is doing something and it therefore has a purpose. See, this is why I’d be bad at debate. I couldn’t make those kinds of connections. I also learned that your tailbone is also useful because it supports your entire spine. Fascinating stuff.

Michael a few weeks earlier had asked what A.M. and P.M. stood for. Now, I wouldn’t fault anyone that doesn’t know. Honestly, I wasn’t certain – I got the “M” right and I personally believe you should never look down on someone who is earnestly trying to seek knowledge. Since he asked, I just popped open a dictionary and gave him the definition. Michael was excited and I was for him because he was armed with new information and it was making him very happy. Then I got to listen for the next 5-10 minutes about how brilliant the question was – I mean sure, it was a fine question I suppose as fine as any question can be, but this question was getting a ticker tape parade and had a marching band. I didn’t think it was quite that fine of a question. He continued on with, “I’m not sure why I thought to ask that question? But it was good, wasn’t it?” (true story)

I’ll wrap up my discourse on how arrogant I am with last week’s excitement in the office. Lisa, another office mate, was giddy. “Beth, guess what? My friend’s dog is a woman now.” “What?” “Yes, she’s in heat. I’m so excited for her. Aren’t you excited?” She continued giggling and called up friends to announce the good news. Hooray, doggy reproduction. Is there a Hallmark card that shows how much I care? (I’m sure there is – that’s the disgusting part.)

Does anyone need an assistant?