“Beth, have you ever seen a dead body?”
I could wreck this person’s day with my tale.
I am stoic.
My face will not betray me.
“No.”
The clock has started.
In a few hours she’ll be in the hospital
Hoping to eat… hoping to sleep…
“I’m cold”
I get her a blanket
We wait
The moment I live in begins now.
I open the forbidden door of this memory wider.
Leaning against the doorframe.
I watch.
Alone.
The Big Blue Mess 
While you stand alone, looking back…we cannot be there, in those moments when you gave your mom a blanket to warm her, encouraged her to eat, told jokes to make her laugh… the moment she slipped away…but we are here, now, just behind you, when you need to step back…we’ll catch you.