Not everything about the writer’s strike is bad. Sure, some shows will be cut short, sure we’ll miss the old punch of late night talk shows, and then there’s award show season – the great thing about that is come this Sunday I won’t feel compelled to watch the Golden Globes and will not have to yell loudly at the TV as Dexter is overlooked yet again. Instead, I’ll just pick-up the online paper on Monday and make a few disapproving grunting sounds. Plus, no one will miss that obnoxious guy from People magazine carrying on about how the stars are dressed when usually he is the most exciting eyesore “don’t” on the red carpet. Come Oscar time, I might be a small bit crankier. I mean, Jon Stewart was supposed to host and since I bow at the altar that is Jon Stewart and will boldly state that he was one of the best hosts (yes, yes, the reviews from last time said otherwise), I was really looking forward to more people not getting it again.
But I’m not here to write about how the writer’s should get their fair share of internet profits. (Psst, AMPTP members – stop bragging about residuals from new media – it makes those writer guys go berserk.) I’m here to talk about some good that’s come from the strike. And that good comes in the form of:
Now who isn’t delighted to see the return of this show? With gladiators named: Mayhem, Wolf, Chesty (I’m sure that’s her name) and my personal favorite, an Amazon with blonde braided pigtails named Helga, you just can’t go wrong – I think she may have yodeled – well, you could if you didn’t have events like the Gauntlet or that one where a beefy guy (or gal) gets to shoot tennis balls at you at high velocities, but all of the challenges are back. This is the adrenaline pumping action we’ve all been waiting for since learning that Vince McMahon wasn’t really blown up in his car by a disgruntled wrestler. I fell for it. I mean really, who didn’t?
Not to mention all of the other “fine” reality shows that will spring up. I’m pulling for one called “Sweatshop” where it follows several teams of small, underaged children as they make their way from their subway bunks to compete in a sewing competition in dimly lit and crowded conditions. Each kid will receive $0.001 per pound of clothes that can be used to purchase food (candy) for the month long competition. There will be fun competitions thrown in the mix like “Factory Fire”. Which team will get out in time before being consumed? You decide! All of their substantial earnings (that weren’t spent on candy) will then be placed in a trust fund the kids can use towards college. Nothing says Ivy League like $1.50 (hey, that represents a lot of clothes) Does anyone know who I can approach to make this pitch?
On second thought, could someone please pay the writers? I didn’t get the butt I have by not watching TV and personally seeing “Johnny Fairplay” return for another season of Survivor might make me take up jogging just to avoid the show.
DISCLAIMER: I realize a lot of people are targeting American Gladiator to highlight the issues with the Writer’s Strike. It’s just such an easy target, it’s hard to leave alone. Plus, I really did watch it and cheered like mad for “the spider monkey” kid. Hey, I was brought up in Dallas where we take wrestling seriously and since I’m not a sports fan, this is the only kind of sporting event I can get behind. If they bring back “Battle of the Network Stars” featuring a pack of B list actors, I’ll watch that, too… well, maybe just one episode just so I can write about it and how much we need writers.