As you can see, Sage survived. It was a miracle. First there was the uneventful yet some how perilous car ride (which involved a major “singing” protest). Next was the whole cleaning, IV-ing, and teeth extracting. Then more terror fraught car adventures and finally the food denial. “No Sage, I realize you’re hungry and GET OFF THE COUNTER… now where was I, yes the vet said GET OFF THE COUNTER – no, he didn’t say that – you know what I mean. Anyway, you eat at 6. Yes, I know you were traumatized. Yes, I SEE the bandage. You’re very pathetic. OFF… COUNTER… NOW!” I think Sage got it into her head that the yellow bandage must be the thing she’s been missing all these years, the security card, that would give her permission to parade around on the kitchen counters.

Before we actually left the vet, we received a couple of gifts – a bill (woo hoo! according to the total, they weren’t doing this out of the kindness of their hearts… well, they were, but they wanted a little something to sweeten the deal), some antibiotics (which always put a smile in my heart when I see them, because really nothing beats giving medicine to a cat – except maybe hammering your toe with a sledge hammer) and this gem.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. I had those exact same thoughts. The “WTF?!” feeling that kind of hangs out there as you stare at the pictures in morbid fascination – like a train wreck or that time someone explained that you needed to hit the “green” button on the copier that said “copy” in order for it to print. Anyway, I figured it was only fair to share regardless of what you’re actually thinking. Hey, who am I to deny my friends a close-up look at my cat’s teeth? I guess their intention was to give me the opportunity to say “ah HAH, you guys DID clean her teeth” but really, I’d rather sign a form that said that I waived my rights for proof and was completely willing to open her mouth myself if I thought there was something hinky. The graphics, while lovely (I’m personally at a loss on what frame would work the best to show these photographic treasures off – something that says “Mommy’s lil Kittums” perhaps? I mean honestly, how does one choose?), weren’t really necessary. I mean, I had been at the vets when he said “look at her teeth” and I nodded in a fashion that I thought conveyed “GADS! Let’s yank some teeth!” Maybe there was actually something lacking in my wide eyes, the wincing and my agreeable nod and he said, “ok techs, she’s going to need a picture – intubate the cat so she thinks we put Sage under. Get a shot of that tube. Good work, now let’s Photoshop some crazy colors in there so she gets the point that this was necessary.” And really, if they had to take the picture, I would have preferred the other side – where the little pulp florets were and where they actually took out teeth so I could have something to show my friends.

If you’ll notice, there’s a little fountain bowl in the picture with Sage. (There may have been a fountain bowl in the other picture, too but it was an extreme close-up, you see.) It turns out that Sage is dehydrated. Yes, despite two bowls on the floor that are filled 2-3 times a day, Sage isn’t drinking. I think I know the reason, which is basically Sage is completely disgusted by the dog so she’ll wait until we’re using the sink and nose in to get some water. Of course, I didn’t realize that was her only source of water. The vet suggested purchasing a “serenity” fountain. Here’s the thing. I’m not exactly a serenity fountain kind of girl. I appreciate that other people like them, but a tiny waterfall on my desk isn’t going to help me find inner peace, which is probably why my epitaph will never include the words “serene”. But I was willing to go buy one for Sage if it meant she’d drink water. Off Kendra and I went in search of one of these fountains and didn’t have a ton of luck. The whole time I’m picturing something cheap and plastic with hideous fake plants and maybe a few rocks and I’m wondering if cheap plant runoff is ok for the cat to ingest. Finally, Kendra suggests going to the pet store where I ended up with the “Drinkwell”. Ok, it’s probably even tackier looking than the worst looking serenity fountain, but I can stomach it more AND it has a little bowl. Let me just say that once it was up and operational, Sage was in HEAVEN (which lasted about 2 hours since she had to be at the vet’s the next day and couldn’t have food or water for 12 hours – kind of a cruel trick). Of course, now Hodi is disgusted and refuses to eat up there, because it just wouldn’t be any fun if the whole pet family was happy.

Now see, that’s like TWO updates in TWO days. It’s like I’m on a roll!