Security Alarms


So, this morning, I woke up around 2am to the sound of our first early warning system going off. Sage – making that sound that sounds almost like a baby crying – that high pitched “I’m flipping in circles by myself and freaking right on out” sound. My first thought was little Indie Orto was paying Sage a visit. One of his favorite past times is popping up on our little front porch bench and purring while Sage beats herself against the glass. Like a crazed furry moth with claws (oh c’mon, like you haven’t seen one).

This triggered our backup alarm system… Sam, who started puffing – it’s that pre-bark sound she does to prep those lungs for a good full blown baying. FYI – The other key to a good bay – pushing up with her front paws – see, there’s some magical, little understood relation to how high you are in the air and the actual baying that comes from the back of your throat that I don’t quite get. Maybe if I were bred to chase things down with 10 of my closest friends, I’d understand more. So, there she was popping her front half up a bit while baying… did I mention it was at 2ish?

Now, I tried to imagine there was a burglar, but even barely awake I knew that Sam would make a quite different noise for intruders. That happy, slurpy, feet scampering across the tile, tail thumping sound – bless her beagle heart, she’s just not a guard dog. A pack of domesticated June bugs would be more protective; I bet they wouldn’t even have to be mine – could be a neighbors June bug herd.

I got Sam calm once I realized she seemed to be barking at Hodi who was eyeing her with that “Sparky, I’ll kill you” look while drumming her claws on the carpet. It’s the same look Hodi gives us, too. Of course, ours is more “if I were bigger, I’d do you all in.” She’s not a very tolerant cat. We all live at her fluffy pleasure (and the fluff and big eyes will disarm you and make you think she’s a sweet little thing). Sam is a tad naive when it comes to the warning signs of the cats so there she was barking and baying away as Hodi narrowed her eyes.

Finally, I got Sam to calm down and I flopped back on the bed when round two of baying erupted. This time I went to the back porch to greet any potential intruders and snapped on our cue beam that the previous owners had secured to the back of the house (it’s one of those that when it pops on, it can make the beam emitting from the Luxor feel like an LED nightlight and it definitely makes our personal patio glow as the light reflects back off the concrete slab). There on the picnic table, we’d caught one of them 18-20 pounder cats. You had to admire the guy. He just lay there looking bemused at all the commotion surrounding his arrival and now he was bathed in light. I’m sure he felt like a little cat rock star.

Once Sam felt secure that I had indeed seen him – seen the little interloper who had the audacity to traipse through our yard – she felt satisfied and of course fell asleep immediately while I tossed back and forth.

I wonder if it’s not too late to get an upgrade on these alarms.

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