The writing on the Big Blue Mess really began as correspondence between my friends and family. In fact, when you read an entry, it’s very close to the kind of e-mail or letter you’d receive from me if we wrote back and forth. Sure, they’re expanded upon, dolled up, and loosely spit shined to better fit a more “blogging” style, but essentially every entry is a letter just like I’d send to a friend. In fact, just read one as if it’s addressed to you, “Dear …” and maybe ask some questions about your health, your job, your significant other, when you feel like paying me back… those kinds of thoughtful questions, because I care. Then dive straight into the entry. (Please remember all entries are signed in my head with the biggest “XXOO, Beth!” especially the rants.)
It’s because of those letters that a few friends said “you should…” and this blog is the result from that shove with a lot of extra help from my friends. Those guys really did a lot to help me make this website a reality. April made it pretty, Anna keeps the insides shiny and the rest of you keep me going.
Lately, I’ve been nudged, poked and jabbed by a few of you guys to get cracking – that I’m woefully behind on entries and to that I’ve made noises about writer’s block – I can’t think of a story – nothing inspires me – the usual lip service you expect someone to come up with when they’re dragging their heels. Hey, it works for other people, why shouldn’t it work for me?
The truth is, I’ve had a story or three clogging the brain and rudely demanding that I release them onto the world. I can’t. While they’d make a GREAT letter to a good friend, they’re not exactly something I can vomit out there for public consumption. I just can’t be held liable for your latest drinking binge thanks to a particularly toxic rant nor the eye roll you’ll invoke when you do that mock cry face which is always followed by some baby voice imitation asking,“did wittle Befffy get hers feelings hurtsied? AWWWWWWW! Wouldums like some sympathy?” Plus, there’s the angry mob at your door (or lurking in your mailbox) ready to give you the “what for” after they’ve read themselves or their families into your story. You see my dilemma. Certain rants, whines, and personal stories can’t be lurking around in cyberspace. You never know who will read them. (Mike, really sorry about using your full name. That correspondence we shared post the blog entry was a little embarrassing. My bad. My apologies. And to my cousin Nikki, I agree everyone in your family are morons – bless our simple hearts – thanks for sharing that family secret with the world – now that it’s out there, I’m sure we can get the much needed help we deserve. We don’t have to live in shame anymore.)
I was bemoaning this to a couple of friends separately, and they both came up with the same suggestion to push me forward. Basically, they said “you can still write, but you don’t have to actually publish it on the site.” Sure, it’s obvious to everyone else, but I had just decided that if I wrote in this hybrid letter/blog style, I had to throw it out there to the masses (all four of you guys – I love you). This was truly a revelation “still write – don’t publish” – WHOA! And I must say it sounds completely liberating.
That’s where the four of you come in. I need a volunteer. Yes, I know, it’s still “like” publishing it, but it’s not because three of you won’t have to start chain smoking or a meth habit – so see it’s really like a special gift for the three (saves me on worrying about your birthday presents). I need someone who has the stamina and fortitude to really get smacked in the face with a Big Blue Mess Clogging kind of story. Special consideration will go to those who don’t need a lot of back-story (that’s too much extra writing for me – I need to unclog the brain, not unburden my soul).
So, whose brave enough? Easy – no need to shove. Ok, someone? Anyone? I’ll buy dinner next time… no really I mean it.