“Is she worth it?”

If you suddenly feel this question coming out of your mouth and you’re talking to me, the high-pitched sound of someone slamming on their brakes at top speed to avoid a disastrous incident with an immovable object better have played in your head before even the slightest little hiss pops out of your mouth. If you need to blink at me stupidly before gathering your thoughts to change the subject, I’ll wait.

In exchange for not asking, I promise in turn not to ask the following:
“Was your vacation worth it?”
“Were the 17″ alloy wheels worth it?”
“Was the new TV worth it?”
“Was (insert whatever frivolous thing you couldn’t live without that you dropped a lot of cash on) worth it?”

I’ll even go so far as to politely bob my head along as you brag about what a great little consumer you are. How you’re single-handedly turning the tide on the recession. Bravo you, you great little spender.

To me, it’s a matter of priorities. I could have an HDTV or I could have a healthy dog. You can choose the TV (it’s your choice), but I’ll choose my pets every time. Unless you’re my husband or someone I’m borrowing from, my finances are not really your concern.

You see, if you’re the kind of person who really feels compelled to ask me if Sam is worth it (or any other person’s pet is worth it), I have only one response: I like Sam more than I like you. So, with that in mind it would be in your best interest that your care never falls to me.

(DISCLAIMER TIME: The time in my rant where I have to throw in a disclaimer. Some of you guys may be having an “I was just asking about the cost, sheesh!” moment – this is not aimed at you guys. It’s a combo of stories from other pet owners and one very specific conversation about Sam. In fact, many of you have already seen me flap my arms and scream about it – lucky you!)