Warning: For the usual stuff – content/language/general offensiveness.  It’s a rant.  In other words, I can guarantee many of you won’t enjoy it, but it’s the June Creativity Challenge which means there will probably be something less ranty tomorrow. You’ve been warned.

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Today I planned to write about BBQ and what I did yesterday for the June Creativity Challenge. I was completely behind this idea until I got a very large “case of the ass”.  In case you’re not familiar with the term “a case of the ass”, it refers to something you can’t let go of – you’re going to grab it by the throat, shake it until it’s lifeless and limp and becomes too boring to play with anymore.  At least that’s MY definition.  It didn’t help that I received a few emails from friends fanning this particular flame. (Their heads were going to pop at the same time.)

The Rant:

You can’t argue taste, that’s a fact.  Well, you can, but you’re not going to get far unless you have put together an amazing argument. Typically, if I love something and you don’t, that’s just the way it is.  Deal with it. What I can’t stand, and what got my ire up to the point that I couldn’t write a nice piece about BBQ and my love for my Dad (thank you very much) is when someone decides to ignore the argument and turn it into a personal attack. (There is one minor exception – you can argue taste with friends.  In fact, it’s your sworn duty. If they like something that’s stupid, well they’re your friends and that gives you carte blanche to mock them until a new shiny object appears and completely distracts you. For example, I loved the Charlie’s Angels movies and “Something About Mary”.  I recognize that you probably didn’t and, as my friends, feel free to mock away.  I’m comfortable with my love of those movies.  In turn, I don’t like “Brotherhood of the Wolf” or “Titanic”, but I’m pretty sure that those of you who did love those movies, do so without having any discernable brain impairments.  We just have different taste.)

Once you attack someone personally, you’ve changed the argument.   You’ve now gone to the proverbial land of “there”. It’s no longer “bad or good”, it’s now in the realm of “ok princess, the gloves are off” (if it’s not a friend).

So, here’s what happened.  A friend posted on Facebook that they weren’t too keen on the movie “Inception”.  Now, I don’t care what you think about the movie, I loved it which is rare for me; I typically don’t love movies.  But for whatever reason this one struck a chord with me and it made my brain happy to the point that I’d say I’m almost a rabid fan-girl (which might explain the rant). Again, I’m completely comfortable in my insanity. I’m also ok with the fact that there are a lot of people who didn’t love that movie.  No one has to love it as much as I do, but bonus points if they do.  I responded that it was “incredible”, but I really meant to write “awesome” and couldn’t go back to edit, so I made myself content with just a mere “incredible”.

One person commented that “it was bad”. Ok, your opinion – a bit of a pronouncement on your part. I personally would have said “I didn’t like it” or “I thought it was bad”, but that’s me and it’s also because while I didn’t like movies like “District 9” or “Pulp Fiction”, I still thought they were very well made – just not to my taste.  *I* didn’t like them. Semantics.

The one that just crawled up my ass read “I think most people loved this and thought it was “unique” etc. because most people don’t watch indie films, only formulaic Hollywood movies.”  A condescending bullshit statement, in my opinion. I loved it because I don’t love indie films?  Please.

I watch a ton of Hollywood movies from the major studios.  I watch a fair amount of indie films.  Why I liked this movie had nothing to do with either statement. I liked it because it appealed to me.  It just happens to be “my” kind of movie.  It doesn’t have to be “your” kind of movie and if you don’t like it, I won’t think it’s because you’re an art house asshole.  You just don’t like it.

As for the “unique” in quotes to hold hands with the “formulaic” in their comment about the movie, here’s an eye=opener for you: There are only seven “original stories”.

1. man vs. nature
2. man vs. man
3. man vs. the environment
4. man vs. machines/technology
5. man vs. the supernatural
6. man vs. self
7. man vs. god/religion

So I guess there are no “unique” stories to be had these days – only variations on a theme.  The world is formulaic.

As for the implication that a movie is somehow “better” because it’s shot on a budget, that’s bullshit. I will give you that there are many indie movies that are good and that I also happen to enjoy – personally, I like “Moon”, “Ghost Dog”, “Run Lola Run”, “El Mariachi”, etc. etc. ad nauseum.  I would throw in “Slum Dog Millionaire”, but I’m guessing that because it got picked up by a major distributor it lost its cool creds with the art house folks.  I only liked it because the mainstream media told me to do so – I am actually their mindless automaton, a carbon copy of many people just like me, I’ll show you my generic barcode if you ask nice like.  True story – indie films can be just as bad as the garbage that gets continuously pushed out by the major distributors.

Now if a friend had made that comment to me, we could have carried on about it good-naturedly, however that person isn’t a friend.  Since I’m one of maybe two people who said “I liked that movie”, I then took what she said personally – as did my friends who read the comment and were in a kerfluffle about it.

So, here’s my response, since it got personal:  I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy the movie, goth girl.  I realize it was shot on a large budget and didn’t have one vampire in it. I’d be angry, too if I were in your skull covered platform shoes. Not one character slit their wrists while a goth song played morosely in the background. People wore bright colors.  There was sunlight. I think someone smiled. All offensive trademarks of one of those big budget formulaic Hollywood films you hate so much.  But you were right on one thing, goth girl, it was not unique.  That movie was practically a re-hash of “Spiderman 2” and “Gladiator”– I mean really, we see that plot all the time and good eye for catching that.

As you know, since you clearly know me well enough to get to the real reason I liked that movie, I only enjoyed it because the big Hollywood studios directed me to do so.  They also told me to send you a special message:

Go suck it, goth girl.