Since I’m making all sorts of commitments these days, I thought I’d add one more:
I will (try to) stop spreading the vicious (albeit entirely true) rumor that one of my co-workers eats gluten-free babies (food allergies, you know – gluten rich babies can wreak havoc on the stomach – can’t be too careful) just as soon as she stops eating them. That’s a Big Blue Mess guarantee right there.
I will also attempt to not roll my eyes at the next co-worker who hears these rumors in hushed whispers within the safe confines of my cubicle and asks quite sincerely (and a bit naively), “Beth, are you serious?” Of course, I’m serious. Gluten-free baby eating cannibals is a rising menace in the work place. You should be ever vigilant!
Ok, off to work on my office awareness campaign. (Which is a lot like avoiding work on my sketch for class. Cannibals are much more interesting than this 2nd draft.)
The Big Blue Mess 
Oh, no!!!! Do we need to pile up gluten free products in the shape or a cross or pyramid to ward off the wandering starving danger? Is there a concern they might progress munching larger meal entrees? Oh, no! (wringing hands)
I think we may have to make all of the wards out of gluten rich items; that will surely drive the work cannibals away. And I think you’re onto something that we may need to add to the awareness campaign – gluten free baby eaters might well evolve to gluten free teen eaters and then who knows? gluten free young adults? the gluten free elderly?!?! I sense a true menace growing in our cubicle-ed midsts.