I’m going to take a moment to horrify my friends. Guys, I don’t love coffee. I’m sorry. I know. I’ve been pretending for you for years in order to be accepted, but there it is – a simple truth. Don’t get me wrong, not loving it doesn’t mean I hate coffee, it’s just… well, we’re frien-emy’s. Coffee is ok with our relationship. Coffee understands that for us to get along, it has to be dressed up before we go out together. Mind you, not quite Gingerbread Latte dressed up, because I’m not that fancy, but definitely a little cream or milk will be joining us.
Unfortunately, “would you like to grab coffee?” seems to be the current online go-to choice for those who want to meet for the first time. Where is Mr. Microphone to break the ice? And while my response is usually, “yes,” the between the lines is, “no, not really – I’d much rather sit around in my fleecey pants, my favorite t-shirt and Homer Simpson slippers while catching up on Star Trek Discovery and sipping iced tea,” but no one ever asks if that’s what I’d like to do. Weird. I’d also be game for almost anything else – like a walk around Town Lake would be great – something that doesn’t seem like the world’s worst interview where we’re across a table grilling each other about hobbies and political tastes. I’m not sure what I’ve written in my bio, but it draws people who get incredibly nervous when speaking to me, and I’m just thinking coffee is not going to help calm the nerves. Perhaps a nice chamomile? Warm milk?
I did get to hit the Steeping Room this last go around by claiming I couldn’t think of a single coffee place nearby. This put me more at ease thanks to a lovely Moroccan gun powder mint tea. Thank you, Jers for introducing us decades ago. And once again I found I made another human being a bit twitchy. He should have found his own zen calm by placing an order for his favorite hot drink, too. The only downside to this meeting was I’d honestly managed to forget his name multiple times during the day. “What’s the guy’s name you’re meeting?” “Ummm… yeah… I should check that before going.” I’m kind of going through a phase where I think all online dates are named, “Todd.” It’s embarrassing but true. I did double-check before exiting my car. I felt a little terrible about that. Anyway, he was smart, a server developer/designer, and another runner. The only real notable thing that stood out from our conversation was me trying to convince him that people on the opposite political side could actually be intelligent. We parted with the mutual understanding that it was ok that the other existed in the world. My aunt will not have to send him a note suggesting we be friends.
Speaking of, I did send the other runner a note in an attempt to convince him we should at least be friends. I figured I’d take the burden off my very willing aunt. The last time I tried to convince a stranger to be my friend was in 3rd grade at my day care center where I had a habit of walking up to new kids and declaring, “I’m Beth!” then following with a subtle, “Want to be friends?” This almost always worked, since I was somewhat obnoxious, and they quickly realized they’d be stuck with me every day after school for a year. Might as well give in! It turns out I’ve lost that skill set along with the advantage of having another person locked in the same space. In my sad attempt to convince him I tried a cocktail of, “I think you’re great” added with an, “I think you should allow yourself to be swept into a new group,” and finally, after he’d said no one had ever described him in a particular way, “I’m neither family nor friend. I’m not obligated to flatter you or build you up – this is how I see you – this is why you should believe me. Plus, I’m not actually this nice to strangers.” Ok fine, I realize I did not miss my calling in sales or debate, but personally I wanted to be MY friend after hitting send. 🙂 Apparently, I was very much alone in this. A good friend tried to convince me it’s ok that the runner will not be added into my menagerie. I suppose.
What’s next? Well, I’ve discovered that on this dating journey, I’ve gotten more blunt – as in the “be my friend” example above. So, while I had the potential to meet up with a musician/librarian (librarian???) this week, and tell even more ridiculous stories, I may have insulted him. He’d sent a note about how his band is auditioning a singer. I asked some questions and wished his band luck, to which his response was, “Yeah. This will work. Are you free next week?” And yours truly may have responded, “Did you just type out your thought bubble?” I haven’t heard back from him. Weird.
Finally, I am supposed to meet up with another new person later this week.
I’m sure I’ll have more stories. You’re welcome Tori.
Please let it not actually be over coffee.