Is This Thing On?

I wanted to take a couple of minutes to write a quick thank you to my Facebook friends and family who recently subscribed to my blog. For starters, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that you’d take the time to actually read this thing, and for… ummm secondly? non-starters? for ‘nother reasons? you’re giving me a chance to take a break from Facebook.

I can now let my hair down and stop trying to be a Beth PR machine, because let’s face it, most days I’m not doing anything of FB note (like I suspect of most people) – not even taking pictures of my toes against an exotic background so you can have toe vacation envy. Look, my toes are near sand! Go toes!

The reality of my life, when I’m not staging toe photos, is that I spend a fair amount of time laying on the couch in some amorphous, barely human looking lumpy shape, surfing Netflix for my latest binge-worthy show, thinking something insanely sarcastic, and not doing whatever is on my chore “to-do” list. Trying to spin that into something glamorous can be a bit taxing, because apparently posting repeatedly, “was a lump again today” just doesn’t garner the “likes” once your followers realize you’re on a personal lump streak, and you’ve decided to regularly post about it like you’ve been elected as some universal lump ambassador.

Speaking of things that are grossly unfair, which we were speaking of, how is it there’s not even an app that gives you lump achievements like “One Month Lump Goal Achieved! Atta girl! Keep up the great lump work for lump kind!! Be the lump dream!” What kind of lazy world do we live in that some programmer is not all over this? Programmer dude, from me to you, get on that.

For the record, the lump selfies are pretty priceless.

So yeah, I’m taking a break from all the people who, after having not seen me in awhile, come up and say, “you do so many interesting things – I love catching up with you on FB.” I mean, yay, it makes me feel like I’m a great fiction writer, but actually trying to perpetuate that myth – the one that I’m actually interesting is exhausting. The rest of you, the ones who made the move over here, know better. Thanks for keeping my secret so long. Your payments are forthcoming. Honest. I’m totally trustworthy.

Of course, one of the things I will miss dearly is reading your stories – hearing what’s going on in your lives. So please, please, please, let me know what’s going on with you.

Remember back in the day when we all wrote letters? Drop me an email. Tell me a story. Send me a photo. Sing me a song. Make me smile and laugh like only you can do. If you want my personal email, drop me a note in Messenger, and let me know; I’m happy to share it. Or hey, let’s do something crazy, let’s catch up in person.

Quick Aside: Or How We Can Possibly Use this Space for Good

Many of you who took the plunge to follow me away from FB are out there doing some really cool things. You’re acting, directing, singing, playing, photographing, crafting, writing, teaching – creating new and interesting things that only you can create. I’d be absolutely honored to promote what you’re doing here – to give others the opportunity to see you the way I do – as the amazingly talented folks you are. Plus, quite selfishly, I just want to be invited to be in that audience celebrating you, and cheering you on. Think of it as a charitable contribution to Beth’s spinal column – that by encouraging me to get off the couch for a few hours I’ll be briefly lump-free (lump-less?), looking more like a Beth. Heck, I may even brush my hair. I know, right? That’s how much I like you! (Unless, of course, you’re IN a Netflix series, which would be pretty fantastic as it would combine my need to be lazy with my desire to celebrate you. Really a win-win scenario by my Beth-standards (which are high despite what you’ve heard). Actually, the more I think about this, the more I like it, and need you to be in Netflix for me! DO IT! Take one for Team Couch Beth!)

Wrapping it Up

Well, it does seem like this thing is on (unless you didn’t receive a notification in your news feed or your email, and in that case, how the heck did you get here?). So, welcome! Thank you guys for making the switch (and truly, for reading this blog – I cannot possibly tell you how absolutely flattered I am that you would honor me like that).

In the words of Becca (Anna Kendrick) from Pitch Perfect, “I love you awesome nerds!” I truly do.

6 thoughts on “Is This Thing On?

  1. The one thing FB offers is a built in audience. It might be half MAGAbots, and half Russian trolls, but the other half (sic) is people you actually know in some capacity. But what did we do before FB became the black hole of human communication and birthday greetings?

    • Beth says:

      Seth, I could not agree more on this point. When I first said, “hey guys, taking a break,” I realized that FB is where/how I let people know I’ve posted on BBM. The views I get for any post come almost directly from FB, which is a bit frustrating when you need a break. If you look to the left, there’s my follower count, and even that isn’t an accurate reflection of who actually follows my blog. I’d say easily half (likely closer to 75%) of those represent posters hoping I’ll follow there “make money” or “self-help” blog as a quid-pro-quo, so basically I know by taking a break from FB, I’m shooting myself in the foot here; I genuinely do not have the readership outside of that forum. All of that to say, you’re right – I’m not sure what we did before FB became the black hole of human communication and birthday greetings.

      Speaking of, your birthday is around the corner. If I’m still on break, FB won’t remind me to say something or to create a party on your behalf, so Happy Birthday (early)

  2. Irina says:

    Beth congratulations on your wonderful lumping. I bet you’ll reach your next goal in no time!

  3. “Beth PR Machine” I love that phrase. To me, it defines FB’s reality.
    Catching up in person sound so, uh, retro and wonderful…maybe it’ll be the next trend…but honestly, not until the weather stops with all the rain – we’re all comfy and lumping in this grey. zzzzzzzzz

    • Beth says:

      You know, I think you’re onto something, I am rather old fashioned – not quite cool enough to SnapTweetaGram. Who knows, I might even engage in the wildness of re-discovering the sun (though it sounds like it isn’t making an appearance on your side of the state – hopefully it will soon). Fingers crossed I can hold out for awhile; it is such a nice reprieve from pretending I’m up to something my friends should be envious of. 🙂

      Here’s hoping for sunnier skies down your way! Though again, Molly does look quite stunning in her fancy rain attire. The talk of the runway.

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