Humor

  • Mark Your Calendars – March 11, 2011!

    What are you doing Friday, March 11th at 10:30 pm?  Why not put those plans aside and come out to support April and me (and the rest of our amazing Improv 301 class) in our very first improv performance at the Salvage Vanguard Theater?  The tickets will be $5 (cheap!)  Plus, we need your cheers, your laughter,…

  • Mug Follow-up

    I’m causes me great sadness to have to deliver this news, but as of today no chipper holiday mugs were actually harmed.  We bore them great malice, yet there they sit in their green and red glory taunting us as santas, angels and snowflakes wave on. Should any of you who worried about their welfare among…

  • We Broke Our Waitress: A Christmas Tale

    I had a different idea for my holiday post, but last night my wishes for writing about glad tidings and world peace were unceremoniously slapped aside by a story – a sweet little birthday story. I was born on Christmas Day.  Yes, the day.  And since I was born on Christmas day, the day, I…

  • It’s Like Achilles in his Tent

    I can’t process metaphor before 10 am. (Yes, that’s a simile in the title and not a metaphor – yes, it’s from The Tick – oh, you didn’t know that one?  Not feeling so smart now, are you Sassy McSassypants?)  It’s unfortunately true, before 10 I’m the most literal minded person you know or maybe the…

  • And I’m Not Particularly Fond of…

    Last week in Improv a few of us were joking about how lately the focus of the blog has been on things I hate and we agreed that if there could be a blog devoted entirely to things that were “awesome” then there definitely could be room for the not so awesome.  I mulled this over…

  • I Also Hate Aliens

     I had a message on my phone the other day that went kind of like this: “Beth, do you like The Event?  I hear it’s just like Lost.  I mean, I’ve never seen Lost, so pardon the pun, I was “lost” in it; it was too confusing.  However, I love The Event.” I’ve had…

  • I Hate Houston

    “Beth, why do you hate Houston?” This question came completely out of the blue and gave me pause, because while I do dislike Houston on general principle (and really all principles), I wasn’t aware that it was a well-known and discussed fact.  Like many prejudices among people who consider themselves cultured or worldly or educated,…

  • Sam’s Week: The Vet, No Wine & The Incident at the Waterbowl

    This past week, my first truly free weekend in a long while, involved Sam going back to the vet.  Fortunately, it was just for a nail trim and tush squeeze.  Yes, I know that’s not particularly delicate, but one of the joys with Sam is that she can’t express certain glands like other dogs and…

  • Sass: Part 2

    Me: “That’s right, I mocked you on my blog!!!” Jay in high-pitched, what I assume to be his Beth voice: “OH NOOOOOOOO! I didn’t write A Farewell to Arms on my first try!!” And then he cackled.  CACKLED!!! I am abused!

  • Sass

    When your husband says something like, “yes, just like most authors you didn’t write a masterpiece the first time.” WHAT?!?!  The abuse I deal with!!  Now I must put my hand to my head and dramatically fall onto the couch (right after I fire him again).