Humor
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Cars
I realize I’ve really failed on the story front, so here’s one of my latest mis-adventures… Last month I lost two cars. Two. Not one, but two. Did I mention two? Two cars. Two. One wasn’t even mine, because why not, why limit yourself to just your car when you could lose someone else’s, too.…
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A Story of an Oaf and A Silly Woman
To tell this story, I need to share some background – a prologue, if you will – that tells you a little bit about me and a little bit about someone else. Details that may assist you in understanding why I later might refer to someone as an “oaf” “clod” “buffoon” or even a “bombastic…
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I Love Tacos
The time I declared my affection for tacos or the most recent time I embarrassed myself in public.
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P.S. Ryan
P.S. Ryan, I feel like I tricked you into following my blog by stating I was occasionally funny. I swear, I try not to do the above (or I guess it’s technically below on your screen) on a regular basis; however, your uncle and I were talking about communication etiquette yesterday (blame him), and we…
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Sweet Fresh Hell
“What sweet fresh hell is that?” This is how I greet most things I don’t expect before 6am especially at the gym. This is applied universally to things like people spazzing out on the rower in a way that makes me stop dead in my tracks and stare (Dude, the rower actually isn’t supposed to…
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LIfe Lessons from the Trailer Park
When last we chatted I believe I convinced you that I had in fact been born (remember that picture of a random baby? surely that was me – I hinted as such), and proclaimed that I “grew up” in a trailer park. It turns out “growing up” encompasses approximately 3 years; I was a fast…
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Mr. Illiterate Wrong Tracks and His Jolly Dr. Pepper Spam-Eating Bride: An Autobiography
When I started this blog some 9 years ago (good grief) the main goal was to practice writing. If I could somehow amuse my family and friends then that was a bonus. If I could force them to continue to read without amusing them (as I’ve managed to do), then that was like a super…
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Dunes
You’ve seen the Twilight saga (it’s ok, this s safe place and any snickering on my part will subside soon enough) and now I present to you “Dunes” – a parody of the beloved movie franchise written as part of The Institution Theater’s Sketch 201 class featuring the most underused supernatural love interest. I do…
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How to Kill an Angel
I killed an angel. Yes, I did and I’m afraid it wasn’t just one. I may have killed a bushel or a herd or a pod or a flock – flock sounds about right. Ok, I killed a flock of angels over the past couple of weeks and with that news, I hang my head…
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A Drought Jingle
As a people we’re usually good at putting a good spin on things. Whether it’s the government convincing us that something unnecessary is a fine idea (DDT anyone?) or we’re trying to cover up for that family member who did something embarrassing. A tornado? Global devastation? We can make it fun! A good PR firm…
