Jay Utz

  • The Out of the Darkness Walk Speech

    Today, despite casually researching flights out of Austin the night before to make an escape, I stood in front of the Texas State Capitol and addressed a crowd on behalf of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and delivered the following speech: Good Morning everyone. My name is Beth Doughty, and I am the team…

  • It’s About a Dog

    A few thoughts have been flitting around my head. They’re not the best thoughts, nor the most insightful, nor even the most original. They’re simply my thoughts in this moment – in this time – perfectly ordinary from a perfectly ordinary person whose blog you’ve chosen to read (and for that I am grateful). The…

  • Last Breath

    “How do you honor Jay?” I stared back at the counselor as I mentally rolled through all the things I felt I should say – trite words and ideas designed to fill in a perceived silence. “You don’t have to answer now, just think about it.” I did. Then I reached out to an artist…

  • A Great Day for a Walk

    Yesterday, 19 people – friends and family – walked in memory of Jay. Yesterday, our team joined 186 other teams in promoting the mission of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention to “save lives and bring hope to those affected by suicide.  [They] create a culture that’s smart about mental health by engaging in the following core…

  • A Reminder

    In September of 2016 I spoke to my friend Kelly, a Chinese linguist who had been in Military Intelligence for years, and asked him about the symbol lì.  Kelly explained: “Lì is the character for “power” or “physical force”. Lì is added to some characters to mean the type of strength. Tì is the character for “body”.…

  • More Than One Event

    Through the years…   … and he was so much more than that one single event. He was beautiful, funny, and kind; the smartest person I knew. My favorite person. My best friend.

  • July 9, 2016

    WARNING: The following post contains certain details regarding Jay’s suicide, and the aftermath. It may be inappropriate for some readers. Did you know? My question in return: Can you tell? At what point in that text exchange would you get Jay help? Tell me. Please. What is it you think I missed? I was exhausted…

  • Jay Anthony Utz: 2/25/1976 – 7/9/2016

    Jay Anthony Utz: 2/25/1976 – 7/9/2016

    There wasn’t an official obituary announcing to the world the loss of my husband. Of all the things we had to deal with that day, and for the days that followed, this was one we pushed to the side. If you planned well, or worked with any funeral service, someone will likely handle this detail.…

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